Who am I?
My Journey
Let me share with you how I learned who I am as a child of God.
Our lives are a series of decisions, doors, if you will, through which we choose to walk. Once through, often times, we cannot go back through the door to make another choice. I’ve made many bad choices in my life, which have caused me not small amount of pain. My biggest mistake was wandering from my Catholic faith. Once through that door, I found myself in a wilderness with no tools, the Sacraments, to cope with life.
Nevertheless, once a Catholic, always a Catholic and that door never closes. However, once in the wilderness, finding the way back to that door is difficult. Like Satan’s lie to Eve, “you surely shall not die.” I believed the anti-Catholic things I was taught which caused one mistake after another, one death after another.
Don’t get me wrong. I learned a lot in the many years I spent as a Protestant. I know how, though, that Catholicism contains the fullest expression of Truth that Jesus left us.
“All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. ~Romans 8:28
In 1996, a friend, a Protestant, took me to the prayer group she attended. Primarily made up of one large family, the “group” was not affiliated with any ecclesial community. They received their teaching for their deliverance ministry from Dr. Derek Prince, now deceased, who was educated as a Hebrew and Greek scholar and professor in Israel.
I had been introduced to deliverance five or six years before when I saw a Christian counselor who was knowledgeable about demonic activity, and where that fine line is between a mental illness and supernatural effects on a person.
My own dark past was brought to light and I experienced significant healing through his own ministry of deliverance. Far from being the end, however, this would be the beginning of a life-long journey into the spiritual side of our human existence.
While I was particularly interested in healing and deliverance, in the late 1990’s, the Lord started teaching me about Genesis 1:26-28.
“And God created man to his own image: to the image of God He created them. And God blessed them, saying:
increase and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and rule over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air,
and all living creatures that move upon the earth. ~Gen 1:26-28
At baptism, adopted as a child into the Family of God with Christ, our Brother, we become heirs with Him in His Threefold Ministry of “priest,” offering daily sacrifices of our lives; “prophet,” proclaiming Truth; and “king” ruling, reigning and bringing order to our lives and our sphere of influence. Given the title of King, the Lord has ordained for us to rule and reign as well, but not as proud, self-appointed autocrats. Pride is the quickest way to hell.
Like Christ’s own life, we must purpose to steep our journey in humility, seeking the will of God first and foremost, and doing only what the Father tells us to do. Learning, with an innocent heart, who each of us is as a child of God. Trusting and loving the Father, who is King and Ruler over all. Who are we, if not the King’s children? Are we not to grow in the knowledge of God and His kingdom? Are we not to learn how to rule and reign with Him? First over ourselves, then over the “creatures that move upon the earth?” All for the glory of God, and not our own.
People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them.
But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them;
for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. ~Mark 10:13-14
My many mistakes and the subsequent suffering caused me to reevaluate everything in my life. I was miserable and no longer trusted myself. So I asked the Lord to change me into the person He created me to be. This required a whole new way of thinking, of seeing myself as God sees me, as He has always seen me. Everyday was a test of “leaning not on my own understanding” and becoming like a little child.
It’s a whole new way of living. We just need to ask Him to show us what He sees in us, to show us who He created us to be. He’ll show you, too. Get ready for new ways of thinking. It’ll stretch your mind and your heart. It might hurt a bit, unlearning old ways of being and learning new ways of believing, but when things start clicking, it can be pretty fun.
Start small. Trust Him in one thing and He’ll start showing you what it means to be a child of God, the Father, the King of the Universe.
and he will make straight your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6