This past week was the sixth anniversary of my Confirmation.
Catholics in this country are usually Confirmed as a teenager, but somehow, I missed the memo. This could very well have been the reason why, in my twenties, I wandered away from the Catholic church. I was drawn to the contemporary love ballads to Jesus that non-denominational communities used. If I had understood Confirmation and the other Sacraments, along with the many other beautiful teachings of the Catholic Church, maybe I wouldn’t have found the need to wander in the first place. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.
I take comfort in the fact that my love for Jesus drew me away, but it was the biggest mistake of my life. It was that mistake the set me up for the second biggest mistake of my life—marrying a man who, for many reasons, I should not have married.
My purpose here is not to assassinate his character. Suffice it to say that regardless of anyone’s opinion, whether friend or foe, I know that when I die, I can stand before Jesus with a clear conscience, knowing I did all I could to save my marriage.
But that is not what I wanted to talk about anyway, so I’ll leave it there.
Nevertheless, throughout our marriage, my (now-ex-) husband and I attended other denominational as well as non-denomination communities. These communities were, for the most part, somewhat Pentecostal. So, I was familiar with experiencing a variety of manifestations of the Holy Spirit.
Seventeen years into our marriage, we were visiting my father for his 79th birthday. My dad was very Catholic, exercising his faith as a minister of Holy Communion and as a Knight of Columbus.
This one Sunday morning, we went with my dad to Mass at the sizable Catholic Church in Allen, Texas. We walked into the main foyer, also known as the narthex. As we entered, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. Through the narthex, we stepped through the doors into the main gathering space known as the nave where the congregation sit in the pews.
The presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong, I began to weep. Large tears poured from my eyes to such an extraordinary degree that I had to excuse myself to wash my face. So much for my make-up! It was the strongest experience of the Holy Spirit I had ever had, and that says something.
But that wasn’t the thing that stopped me in my tracks. Now inside where the congregation was gathered, I heard them praying the Rosary.
At this point, I have to explain that I had just spent about 20 years in non-Catholic Christian communities and listened to teaching from many non-Catholic teachers who love Jesus, study the Bible faithfully and teach what they learn. And from some of those teachers, I was taught some anti-Catholic things. One of those things was that praying to Mary was BAD!
But here I was, feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit stronger than I had ever experienced Him before WHILE the congregation was praying THE prayer which says “Hail Mary…” 153 times. My brain short-circuited. If praying to Mary was so bad, why am I feeling the Holy Spirit so strongly? This was the beginning of my return to the Catholic Church.
When we got home, I told the Lord, “You’ve got some explaining to do!”
And He did. From that point on, the Lord started explaining, one by one, why all the anti-Catholic things that I had be taught that were wrong, illogical, misunderstandings or misinterpretations. I started watching and listening to EWTN TV and radio and learning the full and complete explanations of those teachings.
Somewhere in this process, I began to wonder if anything I believed was true. So, I told God, “I put all I believe or think I believe on the table, and I want You give me back what is true.”
One of the things I wondered about was speaking in tongues. I had received the ability to speak in tongues at the age of 16 at a non-Catholic Pentecostal prayer meeting. Even so, I continued to attend Catholic Mass. In my mind, there was no contradiction. The apostles spoke in tongues in the Book of Acts. So, what could be wrong with it?
But that was when I was young, naïve, and ignorant. Now I was older. Life had happened. My marriage had been difficult. Some of what I had been taught and embraced was proving to be untrue. I wasn’t sure which way was up. I questioned everything.
Shortly after this experience in my dad’s church, I started attending Mass at a local Catholic Church where we lived. One anti-Catholic thing I had been taught that I quickly learned was wrong was that Catholics don’t read the Bible. The first Mass I attended, I realized right away that 95% of the Mass is straight from the Bible.
At every Sunday Mass, there is a reading from the Old Testament, the Psalms, the New Testament and the Gospels. The other parts of the Mass are prayers from other parts of the Bible, especially Revelation.
After a few months of attending, one Sunday the priest progressed through the Mass and had come to the holiest part of the Mass, the Consecration Prayer. This is the time when the priest prays the prayer that turns the bread and wine into the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, making Him present for us to receive Him bodily. It is a mystery hard to grasp and difficult to accept for some; very much like what happened the first time Jesus declared the words, “this is My Body.” There were those who thought He was crazy and left. (See John 6:35-67)
This one particular day, as the priest prayed the Consecration Prayer, suddenly and without any thought or expectation on my part, I started praying in tongues in a low whisper. I didn’t try to speak in tongues, nor did I try not to speak in tongues. It just happened.
I can only explain it this way. My spirit felt the manifestation of the Miracle that happens at every Mass every day, and it had to give expression beyond intelligible words. The tongues bypassed my brain and went straight to my soul and without asking my mind’s permission took control of my mouth to express what my mind could not comprehend.
It was then that I knew tongues was real and that I didn’t have to be afraid of praying using tongues to express what mere words cannot.
God the Father is a good, kind, and loving Father. When we genuinely want to know the TRUTH, He shows us.
And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32
