How many times do bad things happen and we wonder where was God and why did He let this happen to me?
How many times do we avoid an accident on the road, come back with test results declaring our tumor is benign instead of malignant, or any number of things that could have gone badly but didn’t. Do we ever say to ourselves why didn’t God allow this bad thing to happen to me?
How many times do we not even see how many times in the day something bad could have happened but didn’t? We don’t we ask ourselves why not, do we?
There are simply mysteries that we can’t understand. “The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike” (Mt 5:45). Some so called bad things the Lord uses to bring us closer to Him. It’s up to us how we will respond. But then there are other times when He just wants us to know that He’s there.
Imagine a father walking down the sidewalk with his two or three-year-old little girl. She hasn’t been walking long but she has a steady gait. Her little legs require more steps to keep up with her father’s long strides, but they manage, until a crack in the sidewalk catches her tiny foot and she begins to fall. Her father, ever watchful, sees her begin to go down and instantly pulls up on her hand keeping her from hitting the ground. She regains her pace and, without a question in her mind, she continues walking hand in hand with her father.
As an Uber driver, I have the luxury of changing my schedule according to how I’m feeling. There are times when my health issues cause fatigue to the point when I know it wouldn’t be safe for me to drive. So, I am sure to drive when I do feel well. This means I don’t really have a schedule. And while I purpose to go to daily Mass and Adoration every day, I don’t get up at the same time, have my prayer at the same time or do anything at the same time.
This one particular Thursday morning I woke up about 5:00 without the usual headache that had plagued me Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Even so, I purposed to focus my mind on taking refuge in the Lord. In response, my Heavenly Father had been so present to me, helping me to stay in peace through the first half of the week. This morning, I felt good, and I decided to be part of rush hour traffic. The bane of most people’s existence is a prime time for Uber drivers.
When I first get up, I put a small pan of water on the stove. That early in the morning, as I wash up, I sometimes forget I have water on the stove, and it has boiled away. To prevent this from happening, I turn the heat on low which gives me time to do what I need to do and still have water when I finally get to it.
Instead of a sit-down prayer time, I turn on the EWTN app on my phone and watch, listen to, and pray along with some of the prayers OnDemand.
This morning, instead of boiling away, when I thought to check the water, it wasn’t even ready yet. The Rosary finished playing, and I started the Litany of the Sacred Heart. I took my phone with me to the bedroom to get dressed.
Several minutes later, having already forgotten about the water, from the bedroom, I heard the pan rattle, reminding me of the boiling water inside. Taking the phone with me as the Litany continued, I set it on the counter next to the stove.
The tea bag in the cup, I held the tag against the cup with my index finger so that it wouldn’t be pulled into the cup as I poured the water. I picked up the pan and clumsily poured the water half into the cup and half out of the cup onto my finger.
The blisters I expected to bloom on my finger didn’t appear. Logically, I understood what just happened but there was nothing logical, normal or even natural about this. Only supernatural. I had poured boiling water onto my index finger. I felt heat but no scalding pain. The skin was not damaged in the least. It wasn’t even red. I looked at it and touched it but it looked absolutely normal.
But Jesus, calling them together, said: “Allow the children to come to me, and do not be an obstacle to them. For of such is the kingdom of God. Amen, I say to you, whoever will not accept the kingdom of God like a child, will not enter into it.” Luke 18:16-17
There are times when I wonder why things are so hard, why I don’t have the energy to do the things I feel I need to do to function “normally” in this life. Then, something like this happens and I’m amazed and touched at how much the Lord, the God of the Universe, my Father, loves me, sees me, provides for me.
I’m also stricken with my own faithlessness, sinfulness, wickedness, unworthiness. Like that little three-year-old, I may do my best but even though I try, I can be no better than I am—without Him. His Fatherly love and affection. His mercy. His grace. His generosity.
Needless to say, I didn’t rush out the door to start work. After this unquestionable display of God’s presence and care for the smallest part of me, how could I possibly think anything depends on my unsanctified effort, fraught with the anxiety of “I have to do it.”
As I knelt in gratitude in front of my altar in my living room, I told Jesus I was half temped to just pray all day and watch Him pay my bills.
Of course, I didn’t.
