Mysterious Ways

It has been almost 15 months since I came to take care of Terry. I never imagined I would be here this long. I was just supposed to be here long enough to arrange for someone else to take care of him.

Friends advised against it. I certainly didn’t want to be in a terrible situation again. Nor could I believe the Lord would want me back in a situation that he had so supernaturally taken me out of some six years before.

I felt it was my fault. I felt I’d made a mistake. How could I be so stupid?!

But that was only the beginning. The spiritual atmosphere was dark and poisonous.

Terry’s mother was elderly and exhausted. Nevertheless, she was too proud to receive help with any amount of gratitude. She always reacted angrily towards any offer of help as if she were physically strong enough to handle the multitude of strenuous physical responsibilities as well as all the responsibilities of housekeeping, meal preparation, etc. And when exhausted, she struck out at Terry for needing anything.

She also held other personal beliefs which were strongholds which kept her from having any kind of joy or peace.

A few months into taking care of Terry, I had joined a group of people who were training to be travel agents. The training took place on YouTube and for those who are familiar with YouTube, you know that when you finish one video YouTube feeds you another.

The videos it started to feed me were from Fr. Chad Ripperger, the Exorcist. His talks grabbed my attention and educated me, giving me real time information about what I should be doing, how I should be praying. He even suggested that I play Gregorian Chant 24 hours a day to dispel the darkness and help with right-thinking.

Months went by and gradually the darkness lifted. And I felt we were to move back to Kansas City. Again conflicted and wanting to go to KC on my own, I was still trapped. Out of the blue, Terry’s business partner asked him to come back to Kansas City to take over the business.

Finances flooded in, paying for the move and a place to live.

Within a few weeks of our arrival, Terry went to the Emergency Room for the third time in 2023. He had a team of five doctors for as many issues from several infections causing pain.

Quite unexpectedly, Terry’s Infectious Disease doctor came in one day and told him that he believed Terry had a bone infection in his pelvis. He had taken the initiative to look at the current scan of his gastro and urinary tracts, and then compare it to previous scans in his history and found that his pelvic bone was changing, that is, eroding.

Terry had been living with constant pain in his prostate area for about 10 years. He would go to urologists, get blood tests, PSA tests but they always came back normal. The pain was always dismissed as phantom pain.

Now he had a real explanation for the pain, probably from a bladder infection gone out of control and spreading to his pelvis. Go figure.

The sores he had been having which we were unsuccessfully treating weren’t healing because they were outlets for the infection from the bone. Over the last year, many times it seemed the wounds were closed, only for Terry to sit up and the wound be reopened. It was frustrating to no end. We knew there had to be something else going on, but no one seemed interested in finding out exactly what.

Finally, someone had answers. Terry wasn’t crazy or imagining he was in pain. There was a real reason for all the pain he had been suffering and someone finally cared enough to figure out why. Our gratitude for Dr. Geha finding the source of the infection cannot be overstated. This was amazing news!

One day Terry’s mother told him that, even though she missed him, she was glad that he was in Kansas City where he had doctors who cared because the doctors in Dallas didn’t seem to.

The move to KC also opened other doors as well. Previous relationships with business colleagues and friends have been reestablished. In some ways, it’s almost as if no time has passed since we left in 2016. Things picked up almost where we left off.

Terry has also been more open to my Catholic faith. His reluctance for anything Catholic had lessened over the previous year and he is now open to watching Catholic programs.

Terry has also had a prayer session with a friend. This prayer session with Bob was pivotal in ways I could not have imagined. The whole atmosphere in the apartment has changed. He is more at peace. It feels as if a stronghold has broken. He is kinder, more patient with me, yes, but as importantly, with himself. He is seeking the ways of God in his life and in his business. He likes to watch Fr. Mike Schmitz’ Mass and enjoys his homilies and other talks on YouTube.

After well over a month of waiting for an operating room, Terry’s surgery is scheduled for March 1^st. Performed by a plastic surgeon, the “Flap Surgery” is considered “debridement of right ischial for stage 4 pressure ulcer, reconstruction.”

Over the last 10 years the infection has eaten away at his pelvic bone causing a path through his flesh to his prostate area where the excretions have been exiting, tunneling through his skin causing open wounds. The surgeon, Dr. Jacob Smith, will clean out the infection and damaged bone, then shift around Terry’s gluteal muscle using it as a type of padding between the bone and prostate area effectively keeping him from any more sores. Recovery will be 4-6 weeks long, in both a hospital and rehab center.

This surgery will bring some normalcy back to Terry’s life. He won’t have to be bedridden anymore, and pain will no longer be a constant companion. The pain and the effect pain has had on his blood pressure were the primary reasons for the parameters of the trip I had planned to Lourdes.

Since these will no longer be issues, I have contacted the North American Lourdes Volunteers and have asked to be put on their list for the October pilgrimage to Lourdes. I want to thank everyone for your contributions. The funds were enough to pay for renewing our passports.